my new wishlist

this is the LV's Neverfull bag.. comes in 3 sizes.. how i wish i can get hold of one... think the price is slightly over $1000, although the price is reasonable lah considering its the big brand n its quality n workmanship... but then my heart pain man.. will really consider for sometime if im really going to buy it.. its so beautiful right..

Survived

haha u mus b thinking what has happened rite.. a lot of things happen, happy or sad they will be part of my memories.. anyway finally finish my practicum @ Kranji Pri.. the kids there are kind of mature despite their "tender" age.. however they r cute n adorable at times, think that i will miss them in a way...

horray.. i finally regain my freedom.. went out with marg n glen yesterday to orchard to walk ard.. haha we had dium sum at a hotel, the food there r nt too bad, then we went on to cineleisure for pool.. haha pool is great!! i will nv get tired of the game.. easily contented with simple things.. 我很好养喔.. haha

meet up with jason later in the evening at causeway point for a movie n dinner.. the simpsons is quite nice, funny.. but it was a short movie, only abt an hr plus.. so if u jus wan some laughter n entertainment, u can go watch the simpsons.. =)

nowadays too sian of blogging.. life is so boring..

The Worst Birthday Ever..

today is the worst bday i had in my 20 yrs of life.. my mum is sick again.. actually i shld say she is sick last night ard 11.20pm.. i was not afraid or traumatize cos im used to seeing the scene.. but then last night i could not help but feel helpless and lonely... the feeling rob me off.. i could not help but cry.. whats happening to the once strong willed girl yaxin? i dun noe.. mayb under a bit of stress nowadays.. but the feeling is getting stronger..

i waited for my dad to come home.. a long wait.. im sick of it.. i have seen too much hear too much experience too much.. im tired.. how i wish there is someone out there for me.. who can know how i feel.. who will b there.. i getting tired.. of all these all the feelings all the disappointment.. everyday haf to smile and sometimes put up a false front.. life is just too tired for me.. straining me..

poor jason who sms last night to wish me happy bday.. think i scare the hell out of him.. he sense that something is wrong.. but i din pick up his calls.. im sorry yah.. i jus thought i sld nt gif my friends problem.. life is jus too tired..

rise n shine.. im in sch again with only a few hrs of slp.. oh can i call it a slp? a nightmare mayb.. i cant cry at hm, i do nt wish to let my mum worry.. so how? it happens jus so nice that i breakdown in sch.. tears rolling down my cheeks, non stop, furious... how i wish i could control.. but then the poor jason is so poor thing again.. think guys jus scare gals cry lo.. once again im sorry.. my apologises for esther n chen zhen too.. guess its very easy to see im nt myself today..

thank god today my lesson planning is to let the students do some work and not conducting lessons, if nt i dont noe how to continue.. my mood affected me.. hit me hard.. im losing my control my mind my soul my everything.. sounds like its the end of the world for me.. did i jus say that?!

im nt the tan ya xin i used to be.. i feel that im changing.. nt stronger but weaker.. sinking into thoughts more often.. turning into a weakling.. is this wat i wan? NO!! i told myself im still the strong one, if i fall who is there for my mum.

who is there for me? i dun haf this kind of thoughts last time until recently.. my mind is running wild... nowadays a very simple thing can make my day, really. but this is nt the tan ya xin who used to be... i believe in what i believe... my world is shaking...

The One.. where are you?
Now i know, im jus weak, a failure in my own world.. who can i lean on?

20 yrs of life, 20 yrs of happiness, 20 yrs of love... this yr is a rough yr
did i jus mention 20 yrs? oh ya.. im nt even an lawfully recognise adult.. who am i?

This is the worst bday in my 20 light yrs.. it hit me hard.. how i wish i can ran away.. i need to escape..




P/S: thanks to all those who wish me happy bday. i din mention anything to you because im jus upset.. left speechless.. unattended.. drifting in my own world..

thanks alot...

receive a very early birthday gift frm my friends esther n nora.. i love the gift very much, its a very thoughtful gift.. many thanks to both of them..
















its a photo frame with the 4 beauties photo..



anyway i went to straighten my hair today...

Happy Birthday to Jason, Chen Zhen & Myself

once again happy birthday to Jason (11 july 1981, lol he looks younger than his age lo :P), Chen Zhen (12 july, woman's age cant b reveal.. haha)& myself (19 july 1987, lol im the one who looks older than 20)... we r all july babies!!

im very glad that i met tis bunch of pple at Kranji Pri.. hope that we will keep in contact after the practicum n work.. haha so today we jus hold a small bday party at our staff resource room (its the place where we work, haf the whole area to ourselves most of the time).. we were all very hungry..

this is our pic.. the july babies...





Jason, Me & Chen Zhen






































the 4 beauties!!

quick updates

haha im approachin the 2nd wk of my practicum in KPS.. alot of interesting n sad things happened.. cant really write much.. anyway im busy with stuff so i jus post some pics lo..




the 3 other nie trainees with me in KPS.. we haf a nice time together.. all r nice pple.. can really chat with them...









esther n chen zhen











nora n me











chen zhen n me