mum's sick...

i sld be studying now rather than sitting down in front of the computer n do blogging.. but i cant help it.. i cant concentrate.. i feel so weak in me.. emotions i guess... im having a test tmr afternoon... but i haven finish covering all the topics.. my mum is sick.. all the pressure that can crash me easily..

to my friends who noe me very well, my family situation etc.. my mum is nt very healthy this few yrs plus she is so pessimistic.. since when i was in my sec sch days until now.. on n off i haf to handle situations like that.. im so young but my heart is so grey.. i cant cry in front of her cant breakdown.. i dun wan to let her worry.. i mus put on a brave front i guess.. im her only daughter, i grew up with all her love n pamper.. i mus nt let her worry when she is sick..

years back i rmb her saying to one of my relatives:"my girl is so young (at that time ard 13 yrs old), if i left her how can she lives on, she dun noe how to take care of herself..." then she starts to cry.. very emotional.. but i din cry, i dun wan us to cry.. crying serves no purpose.. is nt like u cry n can get well..

when i was 13, i was once standing outside the A & E of NUH.. feeling very helpless at that moment.. but who can help me? my friends are of the same age as me, still ignorant abt life, still innocent.. or even naive... who is there to help me... cant reach my dad.. all the documents i haf to handle all the things that run through my mind.. he was only there when i haf settle everything.. i learnt my lesson well.. one can only rely on her own...

now she is sick.. it is like a vicious cycle.. its been like that.. u dun noe when it will happen.. i feel so tired after all these yrs.. i wan her to be with me... only her.. i can give up on anything...
somehow she always tend to fall sick when im having tests or exams.. when i need the time to study.. why is it so? i cant find the answer..

i need an outlet to relieve my stress.. shopping? pool? somehow i feel that the feeling is always around.. i cant chase it away.. the shopping the pool.. am i jus deceiving myself? i cant find the calm in me.. the independent me..

well guess i jus need to burn mid night oil for today n get a MC for tmr's morning class so that i haf more time to study for the afternoon test.. wish me luck!!

［欣］的感触：
人生是一条漫长的道路，不会事事顺心，一路的挑战是让人成长的阶段。承受得了，你将会成功，无惧的面对人生。失败了？很可能一生都是弱者。
我要坚强，我要独立，我不是弱者！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

a day out...

lol new updates!!
haha tues afternoon went out with fangyi after sch to orchard.. initially we wanted to get our bags frm Mango.. but then fy din buy cos the price was nt wat she saw last time (haha nv see clearly lo took $99 as $66, blur sotong), but then $99 was a little too steep for a bag lidat lo.. well for the bag i took fancy on is $125 for a medium size bag.. hmm i really want to buy jus love the design but dun noe why in the end din get it.. sad.. guess bags n shoes are my weaknesses.. :(

then we went to OG for a lookout.. fy manage to get a bag of similar shape n size as the Mango one.. it is nice... after getting the bag we went over to centrepoint.. here comes our crazy acts.. wahaha...

we bought sashimi frm cold storage to eat..
















lol we jus eat outside the cold storage lo.. with our hands somemore
haha then i bought Sins choc.. choc with liquid champagne.. so nice love it man!!














then i went over to Crabtree & Evelyn to buy cookies.. delicious..














lastly, i bought some make up frm Red earth.. quality shopping














lol.. gals are jus like that.. haha

irritating...

jus came back from dinner with mum.. everything is fine at 1st until this stupid man came n sit behind me..

while mum n i were eating at the food court, these 2 men came n sat at the table behind me (my back was facing them mah so din notice them until that man keep disturbing me).. stupid xia.. he abt 45-50 yrs old lo n think the food court is his place or he owns the place man.. so he was sitting with his back facing my back, he push his chair so close to mine, nt even allowing me to haf the slightest space to move in n out lo.. ok fine, so i say excuse me lo, then he show me faces like im disturbing him lidat.. ok nvm.. then he treat the chair like sofa.. like he was at cafe.. he lean on the back of his chair n of cos lo his head knock on my back.. well im trying to be polite by moving a bit to tell him he sld move away lo.. he din!! n still keep leaning on me.. sick man!! thats my limit liao.. i cant tahan him liao!! i use my elbow to hit my chair n obviously he will feel it lo, then i heard him mumber something (cant hear it lah) then he still maintain his position.. cant tahan liao, think this kind of man cant reason with him de, i use my elbow n hit his back hard!! now he feels it.. facing his friend using vulgar language to scold.. saying that im impolite lah stuff lidat.. KAO!! im the 1 being taken advantage leh.. idiot!! then i was talking to my mum saying out loudly that some1 old man liao still wan take pple advantage, pervert lo.. so old liao mayb cant make it in bed liao so go out to take pple advantage..

lol i din pick a fight with him lo, here he starts a fight with me:

HIM: hey wat u saying...

ME: wat..

HIM: u say i cant make it in bed..

ME: did i? wah u cant make it in bed dun need to tell me de.. i dun noe u.. i can charge u sexual harrassment.. u better watch ur words hor.. UNCLE..

HIM: (speechless)

then i walk away with my mum lo.. actually my mum oso dun noe wat happen de so she jus stand there if nt my mum more fierce than me lo..
come on lo.. he thinks i jus keep quiet mah.. ya lah mayb u may think only head touch my back mah but he did that on purpose lo more than once liao.. jus cant stand this kind of pple de lo.. i cant pretend that i din see but dun come mess with me lo..

幸福的答案

爱情没有什么道理
因为男女的情感捉摸不已
也许聚散太容易
所以最好学会保护自己

爱情没有太多问题
只是习惯爱得起自己而已
分分离离没关系
反正爱情不是什么东西

什么东西

情到最后何必回首
反正已经结束不必不舍
就像美丽谎言一旦弃守
幸福的光晕就会消失不见

说什么爱永远不变
曾经山盟海誓说变就变
不再相信情话可以绵绵
快乐的甜蜜终究平淡无味


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感情的事，没有规则可循

交往多年的情侣，原本准备结婚，不料相隔不到一个月，双方竟然宣告分手。
"或许你会吃惊，抱以同情与难以理解的惋惜。是男方有了新欢？还是女方忘不了旧爱？"

正因为感情的事，似乎没有规则可循，当两人相爱时，什么都愿意奉献给对方，一旦不能爱了，则心怀怨恨或嫉妒，好像很少人可以处理得好，到了最后总是弄得灰头土脸。

难道爱情的基础如此薄弱吗？爱与不爱的差别，实在令人难以置信。



把自己准备好，才有资格去付出

爱情是双向的，总是会期待对方有所回应，只是所谓的期待，有时会变成自我的投射，缺乏安全的时候，期待对方带给自己安全；缺乏刺激的时候，期待对方带给自己刺激。

但我认为应该把自己准备好，对爱情有真正的体验，才有资格去付出。



［欣］的体验
爱情的"初阶段"若是有了尴尬，一切会变得不自然。爱情不是一场赌注，当你愿意时，请不要认定对方和自己一样，否则破坏了"祥和"，变质的情感将成为扼杀爱情的萌芽。时间是最好的考验，也是爱情存在的证明。

Flora & Fruit Tea

today gt proj discussion at orchard wheelock place's Starbuck.. it was a very fruitful trip, at least most of the things were done, jus need to do editting le...
then after that went shopping lo... this few weeks i become very active n awake at night, cant slp, but during the day im very tired n restless.. dun noe wats going on with me.. the quality of my slp is nt good.. so i went to buy camomile to make tea so that i can slp well..

FLORA TEA

PINK ROSE BUDS --- Anti depressant, preserves beauty and youth, reduces high cholesterol levels, rich in vit C, highly rejuvenating

JASMINE --- Reduces high blood pressure, relieves anxiety

SMALL MALLOW --- Coughs and colds, soothes respiratory problems, prevent heart disease

LEMON VERBENA --- Improves blood circulation, soothes abdominal discomfort

MENTHOL --- Stimulates digestion, relieves nausea, reduce colic, cramps and gas

MARIGOLD --- Detoxifying, antiseptic, ulcers, relieves heatiness, prevents colon cancer, digestive disorder gastritis

LINDEN --- Arthritis, rheumatism

LAVENDER --- Relieves muscle spasms, relieves tension and fatigue, relieves headache and migraine

CAMOMILE --- Promotes sleep, ease menstrual pain, relaxant, hay fever and asthma, sinusitis


FRUIT TEA:

Full of vitamines & minerals...

BERRY DREAM: raspberry, cherry, elderberry, blueberry, blackcurrant, hibiscus

SWEET FRUIT: apple, papaya, cherry, pineapple, raspberry, rosehips, hibiscus

MIX RASPBERRY: apple, raisins, raspberry, rosehips, hibiscus

PEACH MELBA: peach, apple, elderberry, sunflower blossom, hibiscus

HAWAII COCKTAIL: peach, mango, papaya, pineapple,rosehips, hibiscus

KIBA FLIP: banana, cherry, grapes, pear, hibiscus


my personal fave is pink rose bud, lavender, camomile, jasmin and hawaii cocktail..

Saw 3

well at tis point of time (2.12am) im still yet to be asleep cos im watching Saw 3 only at youtube... i always thought i love bloody n gross movies, be it horror or thriller or watever it is.. but after watching Saw 3, it was like "OH MAN!!! I CANT TAKE IT LIAO!!!" my brain is numb, hands are weak... the movie is cool, rated R21.. now i know why it was R21 and why when this movie was shown in US pple fainted upon watching.. the visual impact is so great... im left speechless...

actually nw im still in the middle of watching the movie.. but cant take it liao so rest a while n doing blogging.. apart frm the blood n gross, the story plot is above average.. i wun tell u how it is, u gonna watch for urself..

at the start of the movie already full of blood.. a human being is being torn alive by HIMSELF!! yes, ur eyes are nt playing tricks on u.. for survival the guy has 2 choice, either stand n wait for doom OR tear out the metal chains that were pierce into his skin.. he choose to tear out the chains but in the end still die lah if nt how to continue the story.. anyway it was gross man, his body was torn apart, his intestines lying on the floor.. puke..

then the killing went on...

another woman was hanging in the air by chains (again) and was left in a freezing room.. water was sprayed onto her, immediately turning the water into ice, hence freezing her alive...

killing went on...

(this is the part where i stop watching to blog)... the evil guy in the show was operated at a deserted underground tunnel.. upon such conditions, he was nt given full GA, leaving him very alert of wat is happening (this is torture man) then his skull was open, blood flow out.. stuff like that (im feeling very sick nw lo).. the director zoom in the angle to his open skull capturing his brain, bleeding profusely.. it went on and a piece of his brain was being sliced out... GROSS!!

i think this is the climax of the show lo (haven finish watching yet).. still breathing...

the operation was magnificent man.. if ur heart is strong enough.. go watch.. highly recommended by me!! btw any1 fainted? haha

lets continue...

there is a machine now whereby it can twist human's body to its extreme until ur last breath..imagine when u r washing ur clothes n when u twist ur clothes dry, imagine the cloth is a human's hand being twisted like that, the hand was all stained by blood, it wun kill that person right away but slowly eat up his soul... this is torturing, close to pervert.. Inhuman.. (but then if there really has such a machine it will be a master piece.. can fight with/even better than those things the Germans n Japs do during the second world war)...

the movie still continues...

1 qns that set me thinking after watching the movie:


WHAT WILL YOU DO FOR SURVIVAL?